Who's the winner now?

Yep, that's me. A winner of the lovely bracelet in the picture, above. I also 'won' a pie in the face of the sweet friend who had the giveaway. I know she's very grateful for my help in that regard. Right, Renee?

I also won something from the very start...the satisfaction of knowing I was helping a little beauty, Paisley Tam, find her way home. That's no small thing.

Gorgeous Paisley!

Just ask my mom. Yes, my mom.

From my soul sistah, Ashley of The Chaos Diaries, my mom learned that a little girl in Eastern Europe had been transferred to a mental institution despite having a family who was working hard to bring her home. A little girl Mom had seen countless times here on this very blog. A little girl who reminded us all of our precious Vera, of the fate that could have befallen her, of the potential we see blossoming in her.

Beautiful Lera

My mom was heartbroken. Absolutely heartbroken. She was waking up at night, worrying and praying for Lera. Worse still, my mom found out that the adoption agency had demanded Lera's parents-to-be have all the money they needed for their adoption raised by the end of March. It was the middle of March. Things were looking a bit desperate, as they hadn't had huge success in raising their funds.

So, one fine day my mom up and wrote a letter. Here it is, in part:

Dear friends,


Of necessity, this is a long email. Please bear with me.

As most of you know, my daughter Jill has adopted two daughters with Down syndrome internationally. It is a very expensive process without even counting the money for international travel. As a result of these adoptions, Jill has become an advocate for adoption of Ds children and their new parents. I am constantly amazed by all of the wonderful people who are willing and enthusiastic about sharing their lives with these children. By experience, these are some of the most wonderful persons in our lives. We are thrilled to have three beautiful granddaughters with Down syndrome.
Now, the reason for my email:

In eastern Europe and Russia, once Ds children reach the age of five, they are taken from the baby house orphanage and placed in an institution for the mentally ill/insane. They are tied to their cribs and neglected, with no nourishing, and usually die within the first year. This situation is deplorable, as bad as the asylums of years ago in the United States.

A couple that Jill knows has been trying to adopt a beautiful little girl named Lera. I have seen pictures of her and she is precious. They have about $21,000 of the $30,000 they must have in hand before the adoption can move forward. They are desperately trying to raise the funds. However, Lera has already been moved to an institution, and I cannot get her out of my heart.

Reese's Rainbow is a non-profit that helps identify Ds children and helps with grants for the adoption. Jill has worked with them and the founder, Andrea Roberts. Right now, I am asking any of you who can afford $100, or really anything, to consider helping this family. All you will get from this is their, and my, eternal gratitude. And also, a charitable tax deduction.

She mailed it to friends, family, her Sunday School class. In less than a week, she had collected over $2,000 and a guarantee from a longtime family friend to cover the remainder, whatever the family needed to get Lera home. Some people had to wait until payday to give. Some people had the wife write a check for one amount, the husband for another and then agree to give both checks. Last I heard, the total she collected was over $7,000. It would have been higher had it needed to be but the family had lots of other support, too.

So who's the winner now? Paisley and Lera, of course. My mom. Those who gave, though perhaps not in the way they expected.

Some of those people have grandchildren who have yet to be born. If one of those babies is found to have Down syndrome I will just bet that they will be excited to welcome their grandbaby into the family, knowing that there are families willing to go for broke (literally) in their adoption of a child with Ds.

Some of those people may not be used to giving outside of church, or to adoptions. Perhaps their hearts have been opened to helping the least of the least around the world because that's what God told us to do. Perhaps they took a peek at Reece's Rainbow and opened their hearts to praying for those precious, precious faces who don't yet have a family fighting to bring them home.

I really enjoy winning things in giveaways, I do. Moreso, I really enjoy being a part of miracles. I would bet my mom would say she does now, too! It's an amazing place to be, watching God move mountains. It's amazing to know you were a part of it, whether it's by writing letters, donating, praying, encouraging.

I feel like I'm dancing around my point, so here it is: be a part! Don't just sit on the sidelines and let everyone get blessed.

Luke 6:38 ~~ Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.


Here's your chance to be Jesus's hands and feet in the life of another family chasing hard after God and His command to care for the orphan:  GO! BE A WINNER!

San Antonio with Nini, Vera, Emma and Mommy

We arrived in San Antonio on Friday night for our weekend of fun and cheerleading. Emma immediately tested the beds for us. Looks like it's a go for the comfy beds!

Nini graciously accompanied us on the trip.

On Saturday morning we headed to the riverwalk.

Murky water and all, Vera's excited to be here!

Lots of pretty stops along the way for photo ops. Peace out, Vera!

She's a bridge over troubled water, for sure.

Up the steps of the amphitheater to La Villita!

I'm not sure La Villita was ready for my scary monsters!

I guess it was...at least, it's resident fat cat was!

Don't forget the Alamo! or something like that...

Such a sweet granddaughter and grandmother!

Such a sweet granddaughter, grandmother...and then there's Vera

We heard about a parade and arrived just minutes before it began. I don't have a good picture of the longhorns that were driven down the street to start the parade, but they were impressive! I hadn't been at eye level with longhorn cattle...they are HUGE! I must admit I was a bit scared to be so close with only a meager barrier between us.

Love all the Texas flags unfurled!

Isn't this man's Native American costume amazing?

Love the senoritas!!

Love the American flags unfurled!

We saw many covered wagons.

More Native American costumes, this time modelled by children.

After the parade, we needed some sustenance. The restaurant we chose has waiters who periodically lead the costumers in dancing. The customers in question were, naturally, Vera and Emma. Oh boy! They certainly dance with abandon!

The next day we went to our cheerleading competition! Here are the girls by the rattlesnake sculpture on the St. Mary's Univeristy campus. They thought it was funny.

The Liberty Cheer All-Stars team Justice, in their pyramid! They did so well!! Emma is on the top left of the pyramid with her arms up and Vera is on the bottom left, kneeling under Emma.

The victorious cheerleaders, holding their treasured trophies!

Althought I don't have pictures, I did have the amazing privilege of getting to meet and eat with Tina of One Blessed Nest. We've been reading one another's blogs for so long that it really felt like we were having a reunion rather than a first meeting. How fun is that?!

I hope you've enjoyed a photographic trip to San Antonio with Vera and Emma. Be glad you don't have the audio version. Just kidding...I love my girls and my mom and I am so thankful we had this fun time together!!!

Christmas Pictures

Well, they aren't exactly the Christmas pictures you'd expect to see a couple of days after Christmas.

On Thanksgiving, my mom gave all her children, grandchildren, and my dad a 5X7 canvas, paints, brushes, and instructions to return them to her on Christmas painted. No excuses. That's all she wanted for Christmas.

So that's what she got! The Spicer children, for the most part, took her instructions to heart and had a great time painting a canvas. The Spicer mom and dad also took it seriously. At the same time, we all had fun creating our very different paintings.

Anna painted a bridge to a path to a home on a hill.

Alex made golden trees.

I think Dean's started out as two orange houses but turned into a purple polka dotted tree.

Song created an ostrich on the savannah.

Emma's is just like her--sweet.

Ella is holding her lovely abstract work upside down.

Better!

I'm not sure if Vera's abstract work is upside down or not. Pretty sure she doesn't care.

Luke was not going for the paint. He used pencils to create a cool house.

He insisted this is his mug shot.

All good mug shots deserve a side view. Sigh.

It's hard to tell, exactly, but those are clay flowers attached to the canvas.

The clear winner, in terms of artistic beauty and merit, was unanimously awarded to John. He took a picture of part of our landscaping and then painted it (taking many liberties as to the actual beauty of said landscape in its current winter incarnation). He also took shards of rock from our yard and affixed them to the painting in certain spots. It looks really cool. John has not painted anything since junior high school. I think he was as surprised as the rest of us that it turned out so beautifully.

It's hard to see again the background of his shirt, but it was really pretty.

I guess next year we'll have to actually buy NiNi a gift...

What's the best part of having a child with Down syndrome?

Easy answer? It's the same as yesterday: other people.

First and foremost, the best part of having a child with Down syndrome is having the child, or in our case, children. We have three individuals here who call us Mom and Dad and who also happen to have an extra chromosome. If you've ever suffered with infertility, if you've ever lost a child, then you can really understand what I mean when I say that being a parent is such a blessing. Having little ones around for love and hugs and kisses provides sweetness beyond measure. Vera, Emma and Ella are incredible to have around and give me immeasurable joy.

Second, I have found a group of kindred spirits in places I wouldn't have looked before having the Downsie girls--other parents who have children with special needs. Most days, it's easier to look for people who think, dress, and act like you potential friends at church, at kids' sporting events, at kids' schools, etc. I was the same way until I had Emma. My friends are much more diverse now; we're joined by our common love of our uncommon children. Within this group lies a subgroup even closer to my heart: those adoptive families of children with Down syndrome. Some of the kindest people I've ever met are in that group and I find myself humbled and blessed beyond words to know them, wishing I had half of their compassion.

Third, I have witnessed so many people responding to my girls with kindness and love. I am all too human when it comes to remembering the hard times, the unkind words, etc. I would be remiss in not mentioning those many people who have gone above and beyond with my girls (with sincere apologies to those I will overlook). The supply manager in Russia who kept an eye on Vera and snuck special treats to her. Ella's foster mother who had to give her up but lovingly made me a scrapbook of her precious girl. Their older cousin who loves to take them for dates and doesn't mind if Vera comes along dressed as a boy, or Emma as a princess. You've already heard from Nini, who doesn't mind being snubbed by the girls but keeps on trying anyway. The many repairmen who have patiently allowed Vera to follow them around as they worked and talked to her without condescension. The O'Hearn family, Emma's Sunday school teachers for two years, who loved her unconditionally and always expected the best from her. The Hea family, Vera's Sunday school teachers one year, who uttered three of the sweetest words to me: We get Vera.

I've already touched on the sibling relationships but it bears repeating. My typical children bless me as they relate to their sibs with Ds. They have learned so much about accepting people as they are. They have learned patience. They have learned kindness. They have learned to help. They have learned responsibility to a great degree and have risen admirably to the challenge. They have learned the value a fallen world places on children with Down syndrome, and they have learned to reject it as untrue and unkind. They have learned that their siblings can be treated as siblings, are not breakable, can be taught to stay out of their stuff and can even be entreated to help with chores! They have learned how nice it can be to have little sisters to carry around, steal kisses from them and love them unreservedly.

I feel like I could make a separate category of "other people" and put myself in it. I'm not who I was before I had my girls. While the change wasn't as dramatic as becoming a Christian, it was nonetheless life-changing. My priorities have shifted; my life focus has changed completely. So many fears have been eradicated and a certain bravery has emerged. God has used them to refine me in so many ways and I believe He will continue to use them in my life.

I made it! 31 days of blogging about Down syndrome. I think I should have called it 31 days of blogging about being the parent of a child with Down syndrome. Thank you for sticking with me, for commenting kindly and more often than usual! Let's stay in touch!

photo by Alyssa Maisano Photography



Memorial Box Monday--O Canada! part 3

Well...so I didn't exactly get back on the MBM track in a timely fashion. When we left off (four weeks ago) I had mentioned the home God found for us and the garage sale He used to get us moved. I didn't, however, mention friends.

Yes, God moved our hearts to go to Calgary but He also moved the hearts of our friends to help us. One of John's dear friends loaded his own family of 4 into their SUV and pulled one of the Uhauls for us. We took a week to get there, as I mentioned, they stayed a day with us and helped us unpack, then took off for home. What troopers!! What generous hearts!! They paid for their own way and helped at every turn. What a blessing!!

God also moved the hearts of other friends to bless us financially. We entered Canada on a visitor's visa. This meant we could live like Canadians for the most part, but were not able to hold a paying job. John's plan from the beginning was to commute to Fort Worth about twice/month for court dates and hopefully to meet with clients. Nonetheless, a significant portion of his income was going to stop when we hit Canada. Thankfully, we had friends who listened to God and helped us.

I would be remiss if I failed to mention another person God used to help us as we moved. When we arrived in Canada we had to meet to close on our house. Now, I am not going to be able to give a great description of what went wrong, but it may have been something like our loan not fully funding. At any rate, we needed a significant amount of money to close on the house and it wasn't showing up.

As this was unfolding, we had been speaking with one of the men at this meeting and telling him all about God's amazing plan to move us to Calgary. He, in turn, was telling us all about God's amazing plan to have him build a Christian retreat for weary pastors. When we were told about the mortgage company's amazing plan to stop the closing and try again another day, we quickly found out that God had yet another amazing plan up His sleeve. The man (and forgive me; I cannot for the life of me imagine what his job was) said he would vouch for us and the money.

He didn't actually have to come up with the money himself, but was saying that if it didn't fund by next Monday (I think this was a Friday) then he would be responsible for it! If he hadn't done that it would've meant a weekend in hotels with a bunch of kids who were a bit saddle-sore. Instead, God used this situation to strengthen our faith as well as the man who vouched for us. The money did come through, the man was relieved of his kind responsibility and we were able to spend the weekend in our new home!

One other person who must be mentioned: my mom! Anna was only 9 months old at the time we moved and Mom kept her while we drove to Canada then flew up with Anna the day we moved in. She also stayed a week and helped me unpack! As with our friends who helped us move, she did it all on her own dime.

I am not one who loves asking for nor accepting help (except from family, bless their hearts!). Nonetheless, God humbles us, makes us needy, vulnerable and wrests the controls right out of our hands so that we must accept help from others and from Him (and really, I have to believe He sends all the help our way by inclining the hearts of those around us to help).

Next time...hmmm...who we helped and who helped us while in Calgary. As is usual with God, He sent us thinking we were going to help and instead we were the ones helped, ministered to, taught and loved. You have to love a God like that!

Memorial Box Monday on Tuesday

See, Tuesday! I promised!! Actually, I was at the doctor’s office with Dean for several hours yesterday then we had two baseball games last night and so Monday was gone…

We left off with God’s miraculous provision for Alex’s adoption. I didn’t emphasize this point but the first provision was Alex’s picture in the newsletter. In a sense, there was even provision prior to that time: as I mentioned, eleven families passed over Alex and adopted a different child. God saved Alex for us.

Once we started, Alex’s adoption took six months. This was in 1998, by the way, long before two trips to Russia were required. We flew to Moscow, stayed a day, took an overnight train to Vologda and met Alex the next morning. The following morning we stood in front of a judge and promised to love him forever. No matter what. The final morning in Vologda we visited with Alex and his little group, did some official paperwork and that evening took Alex out of his orphanage forever, stuck him on an overnight train and came back to Moscow.

Alex was shell-shocked. We were shell-shocked. At that point we had only parented Luke. Luke has always been a calm child. He has never even remotely bordered on hyperactive. He was generally sweet and obedient and happy.

Alex had not been out of the highly structured orphanage environment since he was 5 months old. He literally did not know how to behave. At all. Particularly with these strangers who smelled weird, spoke a different language and didn’t know what was supposed to be happening. John would literally have to wrap himself around Alex in the evenings to help Alex settle. (This wasn’t a struggle type of hold, but Alex really just had no idea how to calm down on his own.) Nevertheless, it did not endear John to Alex; Alex only wanted me. This is not uncommon in adoptions as often the child favors one parents and really excludes the other.

A week later we finished all the various legal proceedings and left Moscow for home. We had been given free passes on Delta for our trip. That worked out beautifully on the flights to Moscow; I believe we were even in business class on the long flight over the Atlantic.

The flights home were not so easy. We had no problem flying from Moscow to Zurich. In Zurich, however, we were given the last three open seats on the flight to Atlanta. Not one of the seats was together. The young man who was to be seated next to Alex graciously gave up his seat to me! (Can you imagine why?)

For the next several hours of our flight Alex wouldn’t eat anything but the chocolate bar and chocolate ice cream they served, wouldn’t sleep, and had the opposite reaction to Benadryl—it made him nervous instead of sedated! It was a nightmare!!

We arrived in Atlanta on Saturday morning. Let me be more specific: we arrived in Atlanta, Delta’s main hub, the Saturday morning after Thanksgiving and we were using free airline passes. I don’t recall how many flights we tried to fly stand-by but let’s just say that there were a LOT. After hours of trying to get a flight to Dallas I took Alex to the bathroom and he had a complete breakdown. I carried him out of the bathroom screaming and crying…both of us. We eventually determined that being surrounded by English speaking people, smells, no sleep and no food, did Alex in. Trying to care for a 3.5 year old boy I barely knew did me in.

So where was God? Everywhere! A man who had worked for Delta for years and his wife (who was a Christian speaker) saw us, came over and spoke peace to us, led us to the Delta Red Cap desk. The Delta Red Cap took us to a quiet office and called paramedics because we weren’t sure then if Alex was upset or actually sick. Once Alex calmed down and we determined he wasn’t sick, the Red Cap left us in his office to sleep. He eventually came back and told us he was putting us up in the airport hotel ON DELTA’S DIME. Apparently, Delta will do this for ‘distressed’ travelers. That certainly described us.

The three of us slept very well that night after the exhausting events of the day. We decided that there was zero hope of getting on a flight to Dallas on the Sunday of Thanksgiving weekend so we stayed in the room and slept and relaxed.

So where was God as we were stuck in Atlanta; so close to home and yet so far! He was everywhere! He used that time to calm us all. It was during that day of rest that Alex first approached John to snuggle. It was a tiny, yet significant, turning point.

God was also with us on Monday morning. The flights to Dallas were still booked solid, but we found an early flight to Shreveport with over a hundred free seats. That put us three hours from home and that was close enough! I called my parents early on Monday morning and told them to plop Luke in the car and start driving east. (If they’d known we would be stuck for so long in Atlanta I guarantee they’d have driven there to meet us. Luckily we got a bit closer than that.)

We arrived home to a house full of gifts (thanks, Aunt Paige!) on a sunny, warm November day in Texas. Within moments Alex and Luke were in the backyard swinging.

We had a hard, hard, hard two months; the boys fought constantly. Luke didn’t want to surrender his throne (or his toys) and Alex was a true little communist—everything was fair game. Those days drove me to my knees and to the Word more than I ever had been before. I truly delighted in the Lord as my only Hope and Salvation in a difficult situation. As we’ll see next week (maybe Monday?), when we delight in the Lord, He gives us the desires of our heart!

I’ll be putting a matrushka (Russian nesting doll) in the memorial box as a reminder of God showing up in our trip. It not only is a symbol of Russia, but a symbol of the many layers Alex and I have both had to peel away to find our true love for one another. If that isn’t God at work in us I don’t know what is!

The Spaso-Prilutsky Monastery in Vologda

View of Vologda from above