Memorial Box Monday--Ella and the stairs

I have to do a Memorial Box Monday post today...know why? BECAUSE I HAVE A MEMORIAL BOX!!!! I just received it, providentially enough, on Monday!!!! Thank you Linny!!! It is beautiful and the kids were absolutely delighted with it. I read Joshua 4 to them as soon as I saw it mentioned in your sweet inscription. What a wonderful surprise that was! While we were discussing my new box and all its meaning, Anna asked if I had yet blogged about this story from a few years ago:

Ella, now aged 6.5 years, was then at the age of walking and exploring and was capable of going up and down our staircases with ease. For reasons known only to Ella and God, one day she decided to climb up the outside of the stair railing rather than on the stairs themselves.

This is in our entry hall and no one knew she was there until she had already made it to the top, where the railing changes from straight to curved at the "Juliet" balcony. I was back in my room getting ready for the day when I heard "Mom" yelled with that urgency that signals you to drop whatever you're doing and RUN. Anna, 7-8 years old, had seen Ella, resisted the urge to scream, calmly walked over and put her arms through the railing to grab Ella in a hug.

Now Ella is a noodle. Parents of children with Down syndrome know what I mean. If they don't want to do something or be held, they make like a slippery, cooked noodle and they are HARD to hold. Ella, the most skilled of our noodlers, must have been scared stiff because she let Anna hold her. Thank you Jesus!

Anna wasn't tall enough or strong enough to lift Ella over the railing so that's when she screamed for me. I am so thankful she didn't try to pull Ella over. I am so thankful she didn't scream when she first saw Ella or I'm afraid that Ella would've let go and plummeted 10 feet down to the hard tiled floor. I am so thankful I heard Anna scream the first time. There are so many points at which this little incident could have ended tragically, yet God had His hand on Ella and Anna. Of course, had it ended tragically, we would still know that God has His hand on Ella and Anna. We are simply thankful that His plans for that day were for life for our sweet baby girl.

I bolted up the stairs (somewhat thoughtlessly; I should've had Luke stand below Ella while I was climbing the stairs). I pulled Ella over the railing without incident. We quickly 'decorated' the bottom of the stairs with a plant and chairs to discourage further climbing incidents.

I am thankful that Anna reminded me of this story. I really do want to chronicle the ways we have seen God work in our family but moreso, I am thankful that Anna had already internalized the story and knew Who to thank and Who really saved her sister.

Well, if I were smart I would have come up with a MBM post that had an obvious object to place in my new box. Maybe a model of a hand (the hand of God holding Ella in place)? A picture of Anna holding Ella? Perhaps a picture of a gray hair or two on my head?

Memorial Box Monday--The iPod

In Christmas of 2009, I'll admit I was fresh out of ideas for gifts for Vera, Emma and Ella. My girls aren't the best at playing with typical little girl toys. I know that's no surprise as far as Vera is concerned, but even Ella and Emma don't really care for Barbies and baby dolls.

What I had noticed, however, is that they loved my iPhone and were surprisingly adept at using it. With that in mind, I decided to bring the grandparents in on my idea to purchase each girl an iPod Touch for Christmas. Part of my rationale, besides plain old Christmas fun, was that I had heard of a communication app that I thought might be a help to the girls: ProLoQuo2Go. See? Fun AND educational AND mostly paid for by someone other than me! Apple even had a special running: free engraving and free shipping. I had the girls' names and our phone number engraved on the back.

The girls were ecstatic over those iPods. So ecstatic, in fact, that Emma carried hers almost everywhere. I say almost to indicate the time, about a month after Christmas, that she left it outside overnight. It snowed. It never snows in Texas, right? Only if you've left your new iPod outside and no one knows until a few days later when it's wet and ruined. Emma, surprisingly, was not terribly disappointed. She still carries it around and pretends to talk on it and dance to the tunes.

Ella's iPod was never really put into her possession. I bring it out occasionally, particularly for doctor appointments and car trips. It's relatively safe in my jewelry drawer.

Vera. Oh, sweet Vera. Try as we might to keep it in a central location she always managed to steal off with it. Strangely enough, however, she generally managed to keep up with it. Well, until a few months ago when it went missing. We just knew it would show up any day, but in-depth searches of her room produced no results. Unlike Emma, Vera was NOT HAPPY to have lost her beloved and well-used iPod.

Last year when Christmas came around Vera asked for another iPod, a green iPod. She never asked for anything else. Just a green iPod. I just couldn't do it, though. I couldn't ask the grandparents to shell out again for a new one. I didn't think John and I should buy her a new one. She kept asking, though, right on through Christmas and on into the new year as her birthday is February 9th.

Yes, that's right. February 9th...two days from today. Once again, I struggled to come up with ideas for gifts because make no mistake, she wants to open "lots and lots of gifts!" I took my two oldest sons and their 14 year old cousin, James, to the store last week to help me. It seemed only fitting to take boys on a gift buying excursion for Vera. They were super-helpful and we had a fun time choosing some items for her.

This afternoon I made a little trip to the store to buy a few odds and ends like candles and powdered sugar and colorful icing and candles. When I left the store, I thought I might like to listen to my own iPhone on the way home and went searching through the console in the van for my headphones. I had just been rifling through that same console last week when I took Luke for his learner's permit because I thought we might need proof of insurance for our car.

Still rifling and finding no earphones, I stopped short. At the very back of the drawer, I see an iPod touch.

You know whose it is, of course. I did, too, but I turned it over to see Vera Spicer engraved on it, plain as day.

You know what my very first thought was? "God, You love Vera sooooooo much!" He just does. I guarantee you He'll be every bit as delighted as I am when she opens her old iPod with a new green cover on Wednesday morning.

I had thought I would write a different MBM today, one about the way God provided for Vera's adoption. I was close; I just got the sweetest reminder that what God always provides for is Vera.

When I get my memorial box, I believe I will put in a picture of an iPod. Like so many things that go into the box, the item itself isn't a bit spiritual on its own, but bears the mark of the divine when used in God's generous hands.

Memorial Box Monday--Luke's Mystery Illness

Thirteen year ago, when Luke was not quite 2.5 years old, he got sick and it seemed viral. Fever, sleepiness, etc. He would awaken each morning, eat breakfast, fall asleep watching a movie, maybe eat some lunch, sleep for several more hours, maybe eat dinner, sleep until morning. After a couple of days of this I took him to the pediatrician who said it seemed viral so there wasn't much to do.

A few more days, frequent calls to the pediatrician, some trips to the pediatrician, and we finally ended up in the hospital on the night of February 13th. I remember the date because we weren't dismissed until around 2 a.m. We kissed and said, "Happy Valentine's Day" as we worried over our very sick boy.

If I remember correctly, we ended up at the hospital with him twice. The pediatrician was very worried about meningitis but never would do a lumbar puncture to test for it because she was afraid if Luke didn't have it already he might catch it at the hospital. He had such weird symptoms. On some occasions his neck was quite stiff and other times it wasn't.

At some point during this time we cancelled a ski trip. Luke was just too sick and lethargic to leave. The whole time was surreal. I spoke with the doctor all the time, visited her office several times, yet no diagnosis was ever given and nothing ever really changed.

After two weeks (!!) of this I was horribly worried and didn't know what to do. Luke was my only child and I was afraid I was losing him. He had been sleeping in our bed so we could monitor him (while still not knowing what we were monitoring other than a possible spike in temperature). We had been praying over him nonstop, it seemed, but this night we prayed differently. We basically said we knew Luke was in God's hands and trusted God with Luke's future, whether that future was for life or for death. We knew He was the Great Physician and He could do what our earthbound pediatrician couldn't. In the deepest part of our hearts, we gave Luke to God.

The next morning looked exactly like the last two weeks. Luke woke up, ate a little, then was halfheartedly walking around our living room. Then his knees buckled under him and he couldn't get up or stand or walk. I laid him on the couch and he promptly fell asleep again.

Looking back as a more experienced mom, I want to yell at myself for not taking him straight to the ER. I guess I didn't because we had already been and nothing ever happened.

I continued to pray over him as he slept. After a couple of hours, he woke up and was PERFECTLY FINE. My sweet, good-natured, train-loving little boy was back. Just like that.

Our brother-in-law is a doctor and after hearing the symptoms (after Luke had recovered) he thinks Luke had viral encephalitis, which is an acute inflammation of the brain with symptoms such as headache, fever, drowsiness, fatigue and confusion. Poor appetite can also be a symptom in children. It certainly fits. Some people who recover from viral encephalitis have lifelong issues as a result. The only lingering problem we thought Luke might have was decreased arm/hand strength, but another pediatrician told us that likely wasn't the case.

I don't know what to put in a memorial box other than a picture of young Luke. I suppose I could put a piece of my heart in there, too, since our children are exactly that, aren't they? What I can't put in there is the knowledge, the deep heart knowledge, that God is in control and we aren't. While I'm not glad that Luke was so sick I am ever-thankful that God gave me that lesson as a new parent. It's so easy to worry over every little thing, isn't it? It's so easy to forget that God is their Eternal Father and He loves them more than we do, as impossible as that seems.

(I don't have any digital pics from Luke's early days...so we'll have to settle for one at his 13th birthday party. The years go sooooo fast, don't they? He hardly looks the same now.)

Memorial Box Monday: Elizabeth C. and George Mueller

SpIGoT--Where Learning Flows, was started with the intention of being a homeschooling blog. I remained focused on that intention for exactly as long as it took me to set up and name the blog. My first posts were blurbs on each of our children. I discovered that they were much more fun to write about than our school work and I never looked back!

All to say that I do still homeschool my children. On Wednesday of this week, I was reading to Alex and Anna about the amazing Mr. George Mueller. If you haven't read of Mr. Mueller yourself, I suggest you stop reading my blog and immediately locate a copy of his autobiography and read it, then come back. To say that reading it has been life-changing for many, many people would be putting it mildly.

George Mueller is most famous for his faith and his praying on behalf of the 10,000+ orphans he housed, fed, clothed and educated over his adulthood. His goal, however, was not only the housing, feeding, clothing and educating of orphans; his goal, his overarching purpose, was to show a watching world that God is real, God is trustworthy, God answers prayer [John Piper, sermons].

Back to Wednesday, we were reading what is arguably Mueller's most famous day at the orphanage. He and the hundreds of orphans had awoken to a new day that contained no food, no milk, and no money to purchase any. One of his friends was visiting with his little daughter, whom George took with him to the cafeteria where the orphans were assembling. George led the group in a prayer of thanks for their daily bread, knowing none was in front of them.

In no time, a baker knocked at the door. He said God had awakened him at 2 a.m. and told him to bake bread for the orphans and he was just delivering it. Moments after that, a milk wagon broke an axle in front of their building. The driver had to unload all the milk to fix the wagon, meaning the milk would go bad before he could sell it. Would the orphans have use of his milk?

So, on Wednesday morning I challenged Alex, Anna and myself to take a minute and pray like George Mueller. We did so, and then we talked about the times we've prayed and seen God work immediately and the times we've prayed and God hasn't answered the way we would like, but we still know we can trust Him for our good.

Thursday morning, I got up and started scrolling through facebook updates on my phone. I didn't get far at all before seeing an update from Andrea Roberts, Reece's Rainbow founder, that said we need to get busy finding homes for all the other older girls with Down syndrome now that Elizabeth C. had her family find her.

I dropped that phone like a hot potato and ran into the kitchen were John and the kids were gathering for our morning family devotional. "Alex and Anna! Guess what I prayed yesterday? I prayed that Elizabeth would find a family and guess what!!! I just found out she did!!!" I think overjoyed would be a good word.

In one day, God had strengthened the faith of my family and found a home for a girl who desperated needed one. He's very efficient that way, our God.

My challenge to my readers and to myself is to continue to pray like George Mueller, trusting that God cares, God loves, God is real, God is trustworthy and God desires to make His Name known in a fallen world by answering our prayers.

I know that this isn't Monday but I don't think it matters. I'll post it on A Place Called Simplicity next Monday. I was gone all day yesterday and couldn't post this wonderful news and I just couldn't wait any longer to share the news.

How great is our God?

Now, where's the family for Elizabeth's best friend, Angelina? I believe it's time to pray.

 Angelina R., July 8, 2004

UPDATE: Here is the link to the family blog of Elizabeth C's family! They just returned from China in September with a new blessing, also found on Reece's Rainbow. What a lovely, God-honoring family He found for our sweet Elizabeth!!

Memorial Box Monday--O Canada! part 6

Last week I relayed some of the feelings and details of Emma's birth while we were in Canada. I left out some of the ways that God was evident in the details surrounding her birth, however. I would hate to leave those precious memories out of my account!

As I mentioned in an earlier post about finding just the right house, we knew God placed us in that house in that part of the city because He knew which church we would serve. That became evident fairly early in our time in Calgary. What was not as evident, however, was why He put us in our particular house on our particular street.

Turns out, God had the perfect neighbors across the street. They had eleven children and he was the president of the Catholic university in Calgary. They were quite a bit older than John and me and by the time we met them they were down to having only three children left at home. Their children were our babysitters from time to time, often doing a kind of tag-team among the three teens. Our kids loved all three of them and never seemed to mind the coming and going of their babysitters.

Shortly before we had Emma, John had been talking with these neighbors out on the street and they had graciously volunteered to stay with our kids when I gave birth. We didn't expect to take them up on their offer, however, as my parents were planning to fly up from DFW.

In fact, my parents had reservations to fly in on the Saturday of my due date. That Thursday, I spent the day at the grocery story and Wal-Mart getting things in order for Emma's imminent birth and my parent's imminent arrival! It was a labor-intensive day that put me into false labor so bad at times that I had to stop and breathe. I cooked dinner...still having those infernal Braxton-Hicks contractions. I got into bed...still having those contractions...

That was weird, because in my previous pregnancies the Braxton-Hicks would stop when I stopped moving around. I mentioned to John that maybe those weren't false labor contractions after all. I think he had already come to that conclusion on his own but was too polite to push his opinion on me (or was afraid of having his head ripped from his body...something like that).

Finally, around 11 p.m. we decided we'd better call our neighbors. They quickly ran over. The husband took one look at me and declared I wouldn't be sent home from the hospital in false labor! I guess after 11 births he knew what he was seeing!!

Isn't that just like God? He knew my parents weren't going to make it in time and He had already prepared our neighbors' hearts to volunteer their help. These were trustworthy, good-hearted, God-fearing people whose children were clearly well-adjusted young people. What a huge blessing to have them so near!!

Our 4 children were already asleep for the night so Mrs. Neighbor just crawled in our bed and went to sleep. John and I, of course, went to the hospital for an emergency c-section at 1 a.m. Around 5 a.m. John thought he'd best head home before the kids awakened to a stranger in their house!

As you would imagine, it was just a little awkward to walk into our room and wake up Mrs. Neighbor and tell her that we'd had a girl and, by the way, she has Down syndrome.

This is where it gets good.

One of her grown sons had a boy with Down syndrome as his best friend all through school years and beyond. Not just his friend, his best friend. The first person John had to deliver the news to had nothing but positive things to say. That is so rare! Mostly, new parents whose child has Down syndrome get reactions that are best described as stunned or confused.

Isn't that beautiful? Doesn't it just make you want to praise the Lord for orchestrating our lives right down to the neighbors He gives us in times of trouble? Could He have given us any clearer indication that He was looking out for us and He loved us beyond what we could ever even ask or imagine!

Next week...hmmm...maybe back to financial issues for a bit. It is always good to remember times when God has shown Himself in lean financial times.

Memorial Box Monday--O Canada! part 5

As I mentioned last week, I wanted to fast forward through a bit of our Canada experience and get to Emma's birth. I was pregnant with Emma when we moved to Canada and had her 4 months after moving there. I had a terrible time finding an obstetrician, by the way. The whole time I was there the doctors were threatening to go on strike. I had no idea if any doctors would be at the hospital when Emma was born. Socialized medicine is not exactly awe-inspiring. But God is. He worked out the details and I did, in fact, have a doctor.

I am actually copying an earlier blog post (from February). My apologies to those who have read it before as it is rather long, but I still feel like it is perfectly appropriate for MBM because it really details the ways in which God opened my heart to the child He had planned to give me from the foundation of the world.




I was recently asked to comment on the way I felt when I found out Emma had Down syndrome. The question was posed by a friend who has adopted a child with DS but does not have a child with DS by birth.

It's hard to know where to start, but my reaction was based on many things that had happened prior to Emma. I know it's pretty obvious but my reaction is only that...my reaction. I don't claim to speak for others.

I had very little exposure to folks with Down syndrome as a child. I certainly never had any children with DS in my classes. Nonetheless, I read a lot and would occasionally run across a heartwarming article about a person with DS or some other disability who had done something wonderful. I love stories like that and tucked them away in my memory. I suppose that is how I came to have a conversation with a friend of mine. She said she always thought God would give her a child with DS because He would know how much she would love such a child. I don't recall if I said this or just thought it, but I knew I felt the same way.

Fast forward a few years and I was in a doctoral program in clinical psychology. One of my classes was Abnormal Psychology. The professor spent a few minutes of class talking about chromosomal disorders, of which Down syndrome is the most common. She mentioned that most people with DS are usually, but not always, mentally retarded (by definition, scoring below a 70 on an IQ test) but typically they are only mildly mentally retarded rather than moderately or severely MR. That piece of information stuck with me; now I know why.

During grad school and beyond I had some infertility issues. After my one and only IVF procedure I found out I was pregnant. This was exciting and wonderful news for someone who was beginning to wonder if she would ever have children! Without discussing whether or not I wanted this done, my OB had a triple screen test performed on me. I had become so accustomed to having blood drawn at every visit during infertility visits that I never even asked why I needed more drawn! The triple screen is intended to check whether the baby has a possibility of spina bifida or Down Syndrome (or other less common chromosomal abnormalities).

Having already forgotten about the blood draw, imagine my surprise when the nurse called to tell me I had to get an amniocentesis scheduled ASAP because the test showed the baby might have DS. I was devastated. I was NOT devastated that the baby might have DS; I was devastated because I knew that amnio carried a significant risk of miscarriage. I had gone through years of testing, surgery, and worries trying to get pregnant and now this nurse wants to put my child in jeopardy?

When John came home that night I told him what had happened that day. He gave me this very surprised look and said that I most certainly did not HAVE TO HAVE an amnio and that if our baby was born with DS then we would just love him all the more. That was all that I needed to hear. I refused the amnio and we never even told anyone that DS was a possibility until the night before I was scheduled to be induced. Luke was born the next evening with only his parents' genes to account for any goofiness! I think that this experience, probably more than any other, was a big part of God's plan to prepare our hearts for Emma.

After Luke was born I had secondary infertility so it was at that time that John's heart was turned to adoption and we decided to adopt a girl from China. I mainly mention this here because I think it speaks to the reality that we were moving away from the idea of a 'perfect' suburban family. We were also moving away from the idea that somehow our genes were so special that they must be passed down!

Adopt from China we did, but not before we went to Russia first. I actually went to China when I was four months pregnant with Anna, our first 'free' baby. Four months after Anna was born, I found out I was pregnant again, days after I found out God was calling us to go to Calgary, Canada, as volunteer missionaries. I had four children ages 4, 4, 2, and 4 months.

About halfway through my pregnancy we did move to Canada and I was honestly so busy that I spent very little time thinking about the baby we were expecting. When I did think about the baby, my main concern was that she might not feel special. I had two boys and two girls at this point and they each had their claim to fame: Luke was the firstborn but Alex was adopted from Russia and the oldest; Anna was the firstborn girl but Song was adopted from China and was the oldest girl. This child wouldn't be the first anything!

We knew the baby was breech and that I would have to have a c-section this time, but our Canadian doctor refused to schedule it. That is how I came to an understaffed Canadian hospital at 11:30 p.m. on an icy January night. Their one anesthesiologist on call was busy with an emergency appendectomy so eventually, as I was ready to push (!), he came in and administered a spinal. A few minutes later they pulled out Miss Emma Lane and whisked her off to an isolette. Because we knew I would be "open" we had asked for my tubes to be tied since five children seemed like an awful lot of children. (Don't roll your eyes too hard!)

Instead of proceding with that operation, our OB came over and said, "We believe your daughter has Down Syndrome. Do you still want your tubes tied?" We actually didn't even consult each other but both issued a resounding, 'YES!' As we would later explain, we weren't looking for the perfect child, we were looking for the last child. Turns out, we got the perfect but not the last!

Within just a few minutes Emma was brought over to me, tightly wrapped in a blanket and sleeping. I will never forget seeing her profile and knowing instantly they were right; she had Down Syndrome. In fact, my first words to her were just that, "Well, you do have Down Syndrome, don't you?" John later said he was concerned I would cry or be upset and I think my matter-of-fact response helped him, too.

So, what did I think when I was told? At first, I honestly can't say that I thought about it much more than you would about other pieces of information like eye color. I tend to be like that anyway; I let information percolate into my brain slowly. I was glad she was here. I was glad that she didn't have any obvious problems.

She did sort of develop a problem, however. Either that, or no one noticed for quite a while because the hospital never assigned a pediatrician to look after her until she was nearly 24 hours old. Turns out, she wasn't maintaining her body temperature and was moved to the special care unit for a week until she learned to eat from a bottle.

During the first day in the room when no one was noticing her much, the genetic specialist came in to talk with me. He gave me some very old brochures about DS and looked completely awkward and unable to say anything helpful. I could tell that I probably had more information about living with DS than he did.

After Emma was in the special care unit we had more weird visitors from the hospital, administrators and such. I remember the social worker came and asked lots of personal questions about us, our background, etc. She finally declared we were the perfect parents for a child with DS. We were glad to know she agreed with God on that one.

The nurses in the unit were for the most part quite helpful. One spent quite a bit of time searching the internet and printing out more up to date information. Another one knew that there was a large support group in Calgary and that they provided folders of information so she got one for us. Another nurse actually put us in contact with a parent who had delivered a child with DS there. They eventually came to see us at home once Emma was released and we were able to see their beautiful daughter.

In those days when Emma was still in the hospital and I was at home, I did manage to come up with a few worries. The first was that she would never leave home. Then, as I was falling in love with her and also reading more about DS I developed a new worry: she might leave home! It only took me a couple of days to realize what a wonderful gift it could be to have a nest that never quite got empty. I mentioned my new concern to John who put it all in perspective: if she leaves home think how proud you'll be that she is able to do so; if she stays home think how happy you'll be to have her around.

The other concern I had was that Emma would be upset seeing her siblings have children and she would forever be the aunt. I carried that worry around for years but it seems to have lost its power lately. I guess that as I've come to know Emma I can see that although she occasionally gets upset about things she is a content person. Her default temperament is happy. I think she'll be fine.

Other than those worries I just wasn't upset about having a child born with Down syndrome. She was so sweet and she started sleeping through the night when she was two weeks old. That's enough to make any child my favorite forever! I also thought she was going to be my last child, having had my tubes tied and all. I felt extra blessed to have a baby who would be like a baby a lot longer than a typical infant. It was nice! She was extra snuggly for years.

Emma's story is one of my favorites. I didn't know it at the time, but God was announcing through her birth the new ministry He had for me. Isn't that just like Him? Here I was, worried that Emma would be the child who wasn't special and I was busy praying that He would help me to help her feel special. How He must have smiled at my prayers! He knew the plans He had for her, for me, and for children we didn't even know about yet. As John said in an announcement email he sent to our friends in Texas shortly after her birth: Those of you who know Jill best know she would fight to the death for the underdog. God, who clearly knows me best, had in His sweet wisdom focused my fierce love for the underdog on one particular group.

Shortly after Emma was born, I received the sweetest note from a friend back home. One thing she wrote stayed with me, 'God just reached down and gave you a big old kiss on the forehead when He gave you Emma.' Yes, He did. To put it differently:

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. James 1:7

God had not made a mistake in giving Luke and Anna to us as perfectly healthy children (nor in giving us Alex, Song, Vera, Ella and Dean) and He was not mistaken in giving Emma to us. She was, and continues to be, a good and perfect gift from God.

O Canada! part 4

In last week's MBM post, I talked about the friends who helped us move as well as a new friend who helped us without any thought of gain for himself. Only God stirs hearts to help so selflessly and compassionately!

So...we finally are in Canada (as far as Memorial Box Monday goes...otherwise we are still in Texas). I should mention again that this was 10 years ago. In fact, it was 10 years ago this month. Hard to believe because I can still so vividly remember the drive up to Canada and stopping in the Grand Tetons and Yellowstone National Park. Everything was so fresh and exciting and full of anticipation and promise and a healthy does of fear of the unknown. Mostly, however, I remember wondering how God might use this family of five-soon-to-be-six for His glory and our good.

His first move was to put us in a church...Trinity Baptist Church to be precise. God had filled Trinity Baptist with some amazing people. For a smaller church of @150 people, Trinity had a remarkable staff. I will refrain from naming them but they were such a blessing to us. The church members were also amazing, friendly and interested in us and our story.

I wish I were the type of storyteller to make this an awe-inspiring, gasping for breath type of story. I'm not so it won't be. To me, however, and likely to John as well, what God did in bringing us to Canada is awe-inspiring. He brought us to Canada to teach us. He brought us to Canada to lead us to a teacher who was able to pose questions we'd never had answered before and suggest Bible readings to help us dig for those answers. He brought us to Canada to give us a fuller understanding of Who He is. Some of the time He showed us Who He is by providing for us, showing us what to do, who to see, where to go, etc., but some of the time He showed us Who He is by teaching us through His people. Just as there was a before and after as my life went from non-Christian to Christian, so was there a before and after in my understanding of God and His sovereignty and all that that entails. If God had brought us to Canada solely to give us a theological education it would have been amazing. Of course, God isn't a God of inefficiency so that was not all He did!

God also clearly showed us several areas of service. We ended up running a Wednesday night children's ministry at one church we helped while trying to help Trinity establish/build up their own children's services. John's ministry was more extensive than that, however, as he quickly and clearly realized that the pastors there were struggling and in dire need of encouragement. As it so happens, John's love language is words of encouragement. So, encourage he did! One pastor in particular still says that if John hadn't come along at just that time he wonders if he would have remained in ministry. It really was such a privilege and blessing for John to be used of God in that way. It's definitely a gifting from the Lord.

Next Monday I think we will have to have a childbirth moment. Out of the worst childbirth came the best ministry!!

I'll have to leave you with a funny story from our Canadian experience.

As I mentioned, we left for Canada in September. September in Texas is blazingly hot! We had our meager fall/winter clothes in the Uhauls and had just packed shorts and maybe a light jacket for the trip north. Somewhere in Wyoming it got cold. John was/is/always shall be violently opposed to buying new clothes. I can't tell you how many trips we've taken when John has forgotten to pack something essential like underwear and protested if I even mentioned buying a pack! Nevertheless I would buy the underwear, mainly because I didn't want to vacation with someone who would wear the same underwear for days!!

OK, back to our trip to Canada. We were getting cold and all John had was shorts and skinny legs. As my friend and I were heading over to a pathetic excuse for a Wal-Mart store I neglected to mention that the true reason for shopping was not more snacks but more clothes! Imagine John's surprise/consternation/borderline anger when I returned with sweat pants for him. Oh, the wailing and gnashing of teeth over this unsanctioned purchase on our necessarily frugal trip.

Y'all. They were on sale half-price. I paid $4.50. John nevertheless kept up his show of disapproval in my purchase for a long time. How, you might ask? Everytime he'd wear them he would remind me that I really didn't NEED to get them; he would have made it through the cold. Nonetheless, I noticed that he wore them the remainder of the trip, something I went to great pains not to mention.

I finally threw them out last year after several hundred wears. I think we got our money's worth! Eventually even John agreed that it had been an inspired purchase after all. :-D

Memorial Box Monday--O Canada! part 2

Last week I shared the story of God's sweet gift of allowing me to get pregnant with Emma just weeks after clearly calling us to move to Calgary, Canada. This week, we're getting closer to moving to Canada but we haven't quite left yet. God is, nonetheless, in the details of the move.

Once again, I need to backtrack to make progress in this story! Shortly after Anna was born (but prior to getting pregnant with Emma) we had decided to move to a bigger/differently configured home. We had purchased a lot on which to build our home and had put our current home up for sale by owner.

Nothing. Not any interest at all. Until...

God called us to Canada. Even then, it took a few months to sell it but that was okay because we weren't on any particular time schedule. When God decided it was time, He sold the house.

Once that happened, John and I took a trip to Calgary to find a house. We looked at homes all over the city, mostly in the NE section of Calgary where one of the churches we hoped to work with was located. We also looked at one home in the SW section. Naturally, that was the home we ended up buying. The backyard opened onto a walking trail in Fish Creek Provincial Park, a huge gorgeous park with a lifetime worth of discoveries awaiting us!


Some of the reasons God chose this home for us will have to wait on future installments of my MBM posts, but one thing I can share now is that we ended up being much more closely involved in a different church and it was about 10 minutes from the house we bought. We didn't realize, of course, where God would have us serve but HE did.

Another way we saw God in the move was our garage sale. We had decided we couldn't justify hiring a mover so we rented a couple of Uhaul trailers and whatever wouldn't fit wasn't coming with us! Yikes!

So I had my one (and maybe only) garage sale. I do not like putting on a garage sale because I have NO IDEA how to price things properly. Evidently God knows because we sold things like crazy. It was only our stuff and we made over $1000. John put that $1000+ in a zippered bag and for our entire weeklong trip to Calgary we used that $$$ for food, gas and hotels. It lasted the entire trip! I have to think it was like the widow's oil and flour jars--just kept on giving until we didn't need it anymore. Next week, actually in a couple of weeks due to vacation, I'll share about God's provision as we entered Canada on visitor visas, unable to work or make a loonie or a toonie. Pretty amazing stuff!

Memorial Box Monday--O Canada! part 1

So last time (ahem--not last week, nor the week prior, but fairly recently) I wrote about God calling us to Canada. He was so evident in so many ways during our 13 months there that it will take several weeks (or the way I do things, months) to proclaim all of them. Isn't that awesome? I sincerely and fervently hope that some day my children will be able to look back over these MBM posts and know that God was holding their goofball family right in the palm of His hand.

I am having a hard time knowing where to start. I guess the first miracle related to our committing to a move to Canada was discovered 2-3 weeks after John heard from God.

On Mother's Day of 2000, we celebrated with John's sister and her family. Anna was 5 months old and, long story short, I wasn't breastfeeding her anymore because my milk had mysteriously dried up. Because of that I had decided to speak with our brother-in-law about supplying me with some birth control, something I hadn't even thought about in years due to infertility issue. Having just added three children to our family in barely over a year gave me the impetus to perhaps slow things down a bit!

I got the pills but couldn't take them yet because you need to have a cycle in order to know when to start taking them. I finally decided I should probably take a pregnancy test just to make sure I wasn't pregnant before I started flooding my body with hormones.

Well, well, well. It took me three years to get pregnant with Luke and only then with medical help. It took another another three years to get pregnant with Anna. It took 4 months, during which time I was nursing Anna, to get pregnant with Emma! Evidently, that's why my milk dried up.

The feeling I most remember in the weeks after I found out I was expecting was shock. Pure and simple: shock. We were really not thinking we would have any further children. When I was growing up I thought families with THREE children were excessive. I went to my OB and he just laughed at me and asked if we needed to have a talk about how these things happen! I was almost embarrassed to tell my friends. My theme song, popular on Christian radio at the time, went something like: I'm gonna walk by faith, and not by sight...cause I can't see clear in the broad daylight; I'm gonna walk by faith, and not by fear...cause I believe in the One who brought me here.

We were moving to Canada, I was pregnant with my fifth child (and my oldest two were only 4 years old) and my youngest was 5 months old. My head was spinning.

When I look back, however, all I can feel is thankfulness all the way to my core. As I said earlier this year, God had the most amazing plan for the child He was giving us. We had said YES to His plan and He responded with the most loving of gifts. Not because He owed us, but because He loves us.


And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.~~Romans 8:28

So the first miracle of our Canadian ministry came before we ever set foot in Canada. Next week (I hope) I have another. I can't wait to tell you! Hmmm...not quite sure what to put in the box so I'm open to ideas!

Memorial Box Monday—The Suburban

We left off last week as we returned home with the child God promised me, a daughter from China. I was also (surprise, surprise!) pregnant with what was to be our fourth child, Anna.

In 12 months, 1 week, we went from one child to four children! That was a crazy time!!

It was also a time of outgrowing my little four door car. A friend offered to take us with him to the Dallas Auto Auction. If we found something we liked he would sell it to us for cost. It didn’t take long at all to find a white Suburban I liked and we were the proud owners of a vehicle that would easily carry our four kids (although at that point we only had two, we knew two more were on the way).

We laughed about two particular features of the Suburban: it had four wheel drive and a towing package, not just a little knob on the back bumper but something much more sturdy that was attached to the underside of the car. I apologize to anyone reading this who knows the proper terminology; I don’t. All I knew is that those seemed superfluous to our life. It rarely snows/ices in North Texas and when it does, we all know to hunker down and stay off the streets because no one knows how to drive on the stuff and you’re just going to get yourself killed! We don’t particularly like lakes or livestock so I knew we wouldn’t be hauling a boat or horse trailer. Otherwise, though, it was a really nice Suburban and I was thrilled. Due to God’s enormous provision for Song’s adoption we were able to pay cash for it, too.

Fast forward now to spring of 2000. Alex had been home over a year, Song for several months, and Anna was a baby. Earlier in the year we were surprised and thrilled to find out that John’s mom, a widow of 19 years, was going to marry a gem of a man in late April. The kids were adjusting to one another.

Our church had instituted a prayer wall and church members signed up for an hour of prayer once a week and John’s hour was on Tuesday morning from 4-5 a.m. One of John’s best friends, an associate pastor at the church, had asked John to pray for our church to raise up a missionary to go to Calgary, Canada, and serve alongside the Southern Baptist churches there.

So an early spring Tuesday morning found John praying for an older, possibly retired, married couple of financial means to be raised up as missionaries to Canada. Honestly, doesn’t that sound like the type of people you would want, considering that this would be a voluntary (unpaid) ministry?

Turns out, God didn’t want John to feel left out. The God of all creation had spoken to me about our daughter in China and now He decided it was time to talk to John.

It is you.

John kept on praying for that older couple, just in case.

It is you.

With tears in his eyes and excitement in his voice, he came into our room at 5 a.m. to awaken his sleepy wife and tell her he was pretty sure God wanted us to move to Calgary, Canada from Fort Worth, Texas. With amazement in my own voice I agreed that sounded pretty awesome! By this point I could be fairly described as a miracle junkie and although I didn’t know much at all about Calgary I knew I wanted to see God work and be a part of it. I knew it would be incredible.

But wasn’t this about a Suburban?

It didn’t take long for us to realize that God gave us just the right Suburban all those months ago when Canada was nowhere on our radar. Four wheel drive for the snow of Canada, a towing package for our U-haul trailer.

It also didn’t take long for us to realize that God had taken care of John’s mom, too, knowing that John had been the man of the family for his mom during her years of being widowed and he would not feel released from that loving obligation. Of course, being God He also gave my mother-in-law wedded bliss for 10 years and counting. He’s a very efficient God when it comes to blessing, you know.

Next Monday, I’ll be ready to tell you the lovely ways God showed up for us in Canada. He didn't send us there because we were trained or even especially competent; He sent us there knowing His power would be seen in our weakness.

I didn’t mention my item for last week’s MBM, but I found a lovely frame with my lovely verse on it: Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. I have one of our first pictures of Song, newly home, in it. For this week, I will place this picture of a Suburban just like the one we had, black wheel well covers and all.

Memorial Box Monday--Song's adoption

In the last Memorial Box Monday I wrote about some of the many ways God showed up in Alex’s adoption. I also referred to the fact that Alex’s and Song’s adoptions are enmeshed; we wouldn’t have one without the other. Today I wanted to share the way that God showed up for Song’s adoption, which also just happens to be enmeshed with Anna’s entrance into our family.

It’s a good story made even better by virtue of being true.

As I mentioned, the months after Alex’s adoption were very hard. He just didn’t know how to behave, although he was a pretty good mimic. Lots of difficulties with church and mother’s day out. Lots of not being able to leave him along without some disaster happening. Lots of rocking himself to sleep, rocking himself back to sleep, moaning/singing something that sounded oddly like a Native American song of mourning. Keening, really.

By this time God and I had grown pretty close, what with me searching the Bible for help, praying for deliverance and trying to reconcile myself to life as the mother of two sons. I had thought I would be the mother of a boy from me and a girl from China and although I knew we made the right choice I was still missing my daughter. I already had clothes hanging in a closet for her, but couldn’t see how we would be able to do that, financially or otherwise with a very emotionally fragile new son.

One day as I was reading through the Psalms, the following verse was part of my reading:

Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.

I don’t know if I had read that verse before or not; I do know I never understood it until that day. If I delight in the Lord then He will be putting the desires into my heart and He will surely give them to me. He had good plans for me; He wasn’t going to be working around my plans to accomplish His own.

I found the idea stunning. I stopped at that very moment, praying with all earnestness, “Lord, you know I have delighted in You; You know You are my only strength through this trial and I love You! Imperfectly, but with all my heart, I love You. Lord, what is the desire of my heart?”

Then I waited to hear from Him. It only took a second.

A daughter from China.

Can I tell you how much this answer disappointed me? Not the answer itself, of course, but because I thought I was so weak in my faith that I couldn’t hear from God. So, I asked again.

A daughter from China.

Still disappointed, I nonetheless kept that answer in the back of mind all the while waiting for something more profound, I guess. I still delighted in the Lord. I still read my Bible. I still worked on my relationship with Alex.

Within a few days of asking God what the desire of my heart was, I received a call from the Gladney Adoption agency: Jill, we have a referral for a daughter for you and John . She’s 11 months old and her name is Li Song Yue. Do you want us to fedex it to you so you can talk about it?

Right this moment, typing out those words I still cry, the same tears of joy I cried on that March day in 1999. God spoke to me. God spoke to ME. He told me what the desire of my heart was and HE GAVE IT TO ME! He put a Song of joy in my heart!

The next day we received the package but John wasn’t 100% sure that this was God’s plan. He hadn’t had the conversation with God that I’d had, so I can’t blame him. Nonetheless, a week later his Bible reading for the day took him here:

Isaiah 1:17 learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow.

I looked at him and deadpanned, “I guess I’ll be calling the agency today, then?”

As I said at the start, however, we didn’t think we could handle another adoption so quickly after the first one. You know, don’t you, that God had that handled. In fact, He had already handed us the financial piece of the puzzle.

About two weeks before I read the passage in Psalm 37, John called to say he was getting a bonus; a much bigger bonus than we had ever received before. Well, we weren’t adopting and so the ‘natural’ Jill would normally have a list of things for that bonus. Unnaturally, I knew, the moment he told me about it I knew, that this money was from God and He had a plan for it. I didn’t know what it was, but I knew the money wasn’t really ours. (It never really is, but thankfully God gave me a stronger sense of that than I normally have!)

Now, the amount was way more than what was necessary to complete an adoption from China. Turns out, we were going to need a new vehicle, too. The Mazda 4 door I had just wouldn’t handle all four kids.

Wait, didn’t Song make three kids?

Two weeks after saying ‘yes’ to Song we found out we were expecting. God opened my womb when we opened our heart to another child, one of His precious orphans. Isn’t He just the most wondrous God? Isn’t He just the overflowing, overwhelming, full of mercy and grace and blessings God?

He also had our backs when it came time to leave Alex for the adoption trip. It took 4 months from getting Song’s referral to travel. John didn’t have to go so he stayed with the boys. At the time (and only at that time) a parent could go alone but with certain paperwork signed by John ahead of time. John’s mom went with me on the trip and we brought home the most beautiful little China doll ever! A crowd of 30+ people met us at the gate; the folks on the airplane caught on to what was happening and let Song and I exit the plane first.

Next time, I will explain a little more about the vehicle God gave us. Doesn’t sound as exciting as an adoption, does it? Oh, but wait!!! God was involved. It’s a good story, too.

Memorial Box Monday on Tuesday

See, Tuesday! I promised!! Actually, I was at the doctor’s office with Dean for several hours yesterday then we had two baseball games last night and so Monday was gone…

We left off with God’s miraculous provision for Alex’s adoption. I didn’t emphasize this point but the first provision was Alex’s picture in the newsletter. In a sense, there was even provision prior to that time: as I mentioned, eleven families passed over Alex and adopted a different child. God saved Alex for us.

Once we started, Alex’s adoption took six months. This was in 1998, by the way, long before two trips to Russia were required. We flew to Moscow, stayed a day, took an overnight train to Vologda and met Alex the next morning. The following morning we stood in front of a judge and promised to love him forever. No matter what. The final morning in Vologda we visited with Alex and his little group, did some official paperwork and that evening took Alex out of his orphanage forever, stuck him on an overnight train and came back to Moscow.

Alex was shell-shocked. We were shell-shocked. At that point we had only parented Luke. Luke has always been a calm child. He has never even remotely bordered on hyperactive. He was generally sweet and obedient and happy.

Alex had not been out of the highly structured orphanage environment since he was 5 months old. He literally did not know how to behave. At all. Particularly with these strangers who smelled weird, spoke a different language and didn’t know what was supposed to be happening. John would literally have to wrap himself around Alex in the evenings to help Alex settle. (This wasn’t a struggle type of hold, but Alex really just had no idea how to calm down on his own.) Nevertheless, it did not endear John to Alex; Alex only wanted me. This is not uncommon in adoptions as often the child favors one parents and really excludes the other.

A week later we finished all the various legal proceedings and left Moscow for home. We had been given free passes on Delta for our trip. That worked out beautifully on the flights to Moscow; I believe we were even in business class on the long flight over the Atlantic.

The flights home were not so easy. We had no problem flying from Moscow to Zurich. In Zurich, however, we were given the last three open seats on the flight to Atlanta. Not one of the seats was together. The young man who was to be seated next to Alex graciously gave up his seat to me! (Can you imagine why?)

For the next several hours of our flight Alex wouldn’t eat anything but the chocolate bar and chocolate ice cream they served, wouldn’t sleep, and had the opposite reaction to Benadryl—it made him nervous instead of sedated! It was a nightmare!!

We arrived in Atlanta on Saturday morning. Let me be more specific: we arrived in Atlanta, Delta’s main hub, the Saturday morning after Thanksgiving and we were using free airline passes. I don’t recall how many flights we tried to fly stand-by but let’s just say that there were a LOT. After hours of trying to get a flight to Dallas I took Alex to the bathroom and he had a complete breakdown. I carried him out of the bathroom screaming and crying…both of us. We eventually determined that being surrounded by English speaking people, smells, no sleep and no food, did Alex in. Trying to care for a 3.5 year old boy I barely knew did me in.

So where was God? Everywhere! A man who had worked for Delta for years and his wife (who was a Christian speaker) saw us, came over and spoke peace to us, led us to the Delta Red Cap desk. The Delta Red Cap took us to a quiet office and called paramedics because we weren’t sure then if Alex was upset or actually sick. Once Alex calmed down and we determined he wasn’t sick, the Red Cap left us in his office to sleep. He eventually came back and told us he was putting us up in the airport hotel ON DELTA’S DIME. Apparently, Delta will do this for ‘distressed’ travelers. That certainly described us.

The three of us slept very well that night after the exhausting events of the day. We decided that there was zero hope of getting on a flight to Dallas on the Sunday of Thanksgiving weekend so we stayed in the room and slept and relaxed.

So where was God as we were stuck in Atlanta; so close to home and yet so far! He was everywhere! He used that time to calm us all. It was during that day of rest that Alex first approached John to snuggle. It was a tiny, yet significant, turning point.

God was also with us on Monday morning. The flights to Dallas were still booked solid, but we found an early flight to Shreveport with over a hundred free seats. That put us three hours from home and that was close enough! I called my parents early on Monday morning and told them to plop Luke in the car and start driving east. (If they’d known we would be stuck for so long in Atlanta I guarantee they’d have driven there to meet us. Luckily we got a bit closer than that.)

We arrived home to a house full of gifts (thanks, Aunt Paige!) on a sunny, warm November day in Texas. Within moments Alex and Luke were in the backyard swinging.

We had a hard, hard, hard two months; the boys fought constantly. Luke didn’t want to surrender his throne (or his toys) and Alex was a true little communist—everything was fair game. Those days drove me to my knees and to the Word more than I ever had been before. I truly delighted in the Lord as my only Hope and Salvation in a difficult situation. As we’ll see next week (maybe Monday?), when we delight in the Lord, He gives us the desires of our heart!

I’ll be putting a matrushka (Russian nesting doll) in the memorial box as a reminder of God showing up in our trip. It not only is a symbol of Russia, but a symbol of the many layers Alex and I have both had to peel away to find our true love for one another. If that isn’t God at work in us I don’t know what is!

The Spaso-Prilutsky Monastery in Vologda

View of Vologda from above

Memorial Box Monday on Wednesday

Well, I'm getting closer to Monday, sort of zeroing in on it. My story of God's amazing power in the life of our family left off last week with God giving us the money we needed to complete Song's adoption. That story, however, does not stand alone; it is inextricably linked to Alex's story of adoption. We began Song's adoption not knowing anything about Song, just knowing we were sending in a dossier and if we waited about a year we would received a referral for a little girl about a year old. It took about six months to complete our adoption dosser for China and we sent it to the Chinese Center for Adoption Affairs in April of 1998 (the month and year Song was born, interestingly enough!). In May of 1998, we received our first newsletter from Gladney, our agency. Inside the newsletter was a page with pictures of waiting children, including the picture of little Dima who was about to turn 3 and had big blue eyes, was happy and healthy and needed a family. His picture took my breath away! I just knew I was looking at my son. John wasn't as sure, but being John he agreed to pray and soon he began to feel a real paternal love for this boy in Russia. So I contacted Gladney and then the real fun began! NOT! Apparently I should never have been given Dima's information since we were already in process in China. The vice president of international adoptions gave us an ultimatum: choose the girl-to-be-referred in China or the boy whose picture you've been carrying around for the last two weeks from Russia. A difficult choice, but really not a hard choice. Our China program coordinator was kind enough to say that she would ask China to put our dossier on hold with the hope that if we adopted Dima/Alex quickly we could turn right around and perhaps not have to redo all our documents. I remember thinking that was so sweet of her but I couldn't imagine that we could afford back to back adoptions, particularly since Alex's adoption was going to be at least $10,000 more than Song's adoption. How quickly we forget God's providence! Months after God's miraculous provision of $16,000 for a Chinese adoption I seem to have already developed doubts. Perhaps I thought He would only give us money once. Perhaps I just didn't think at all! God, fortunately, is forgiving when we forget AND He cares for His children, particularly His orphaned children. Once again, within no time at all He had provided another bonus check to John, this time for $10,000, just what we needed for Alex's more expensive adoption. How amazing is that? Even more amazing, I think, is that He knew Alex would be a very challenging child, and He knew we would need all the confirmation we could get that Alex was to be OUR child. Next week (maybe Monday but more like Tuesdayish) I can't wait to share the rest of the story. It's a good one! For the Memorial Box, I believe I will use the newsletter with Alex's picture in it. Eleven families had looked at Alex's referral information before us and they had all decided not to adopt him. I can only guess that God put scales on their eyes because that is one cute kid!

My First Memorial Box Monday

As explained at A Place Called Simplicity, Memorial Box Monday is a way for us to remember the times God has so clearly shown up in our life. In a way that sounds weird because God is always there, always loving, always helping, ready to guide us. We just don't always pay attention. Perhaps that's why He is gracious enough to show up in a BIG WAY sometimes. We remember what we already knew, that He is always here, always loving, always helping, ready to guide us.

I don't yet have a memorial box. Some people have some darling boxes that are more like curio cabinets on the wall. I don't know what I might use, assuming I don't win one from A Place Called Simplicity--surely my winning streak has run its course! The idea, however, is to find an object, picture, toy, etc. to represent the time that God showed up.

The only real difficulty I have at this point is knowing where to begin. I am the type to look for God. I expect Him to show up. I expect it won't be in my timing, but His.

In October of 1997, Luke was two years old and an only child. We were starting to feel parenthood pangs anew, having now moved into what is called secondary infertility, or the inability to conceive following a successful pregnancy. We prayerfully decided to look into international adoption.

Our first goal was to find an agency. At the time, every agency known to man did NOT have a website, but we requested information from some who did. We ended up deciding to use Gladney, which is in Fort Worth and had/has a 100+ year stellar reputation.

That goal met, we then started looking at their various adoption programs. (It's hard to believe that at this time I didn't know there were such things as photolistings!) We were talking about Russia and some other Eastern European countries when I said, "It's too bad we don't want to adopt from China. It's much less expensive and we'd be assured of getting a daughter."

John gave me a quizzical look and asked, "Why don't we want to adopt from China?"

Well, that was all the answer I needed! I had, for whatever reason, assumed John was stretched enough with an international adoption and a transracial adoption was too far a stretch. I was happily wrong about that assumption!

We contacted Gladney about their China program and found that we could expect our adoption costs would be around $16-17,000 dollars. We were a bit overwhelmed with the idea of coming up with that much money. Nonetheless, we prayed and felt convinced that this is what God would have us do and where God would have us go. We had some money put away and John felt like we could save enough during the year and a half it might take for the adoption. Honestly, though, it seemed like a daunting task.

About two weeks after calling Gladney, John brought a copy of a check home from work. The check was made out to his law firm so the $64,000 written on it wasn't of huge interest to me. He then asked, "Guess what my part of this check is? 25%!"

$64,000 X 25% = $16,000 We rejoiced! We saw it for what it was; a sweet gift from our Heavenly Father who knew we weren't expecting it.

We stepped out in faith. God showed up. In this instance, He showed up fast! I must admit, it was probably because our faith was still so new and so small. We weren't used to God showing up yet. As our lives and our faith has progressed, however, I can see that this was one of God's methods of growing our faith so we would know we could take a bigger step of faith in the future.

It worked. Next Monday (yes, I know today is Thursday) I'll happily share just how quickly we were asked to step back out again.

I'm not quite sure what to put in my box as a reminder. I don't have that copy of the check and I'm not expecting to see one like that again! Perhaps I can get my hands on a copy of a Gladney brochure. I would happily take any and all suggestions.

The funny thing is that in some of our subsequent adoptions God didn't show up like that, yet each time our faith grew as we knew to look for Him in other ways. He's a very creative God as He works His plans for our life for our good and His Glory!

Thank You, sweet Heavenly Father!