Thursday, January 6, 2011

The Worst Year Ever

Well, maybe not ever. Worst year lately? Possibly.

Looking back, I can see only a few stressors, but boy were they big. Betrayed in a very passive/aggressive way more than once by someone I thought was a friend. A family member's stress that bled over into my life almost daily. In a lot of ways, blogging daily during October about Down syndrome was stressful, particularly when I lost several friends in the fallout.

Many times, God seemed far away and inaccessible. Many times, I coasted in my Christian life; the Memorial Box Monday posts gave me sustenance as I tried to keep God's amazing faithfulness in the forefront of my mind and heart.

As the year concluded, in my mind I really was calling it the Worst Year Ever, remembering only the trauma.

Francis Chan: Both worry and stress reek of arrogance.

Ouch. I used to like you, Francis.

You know what else reeks of arrogance? Remembering only the slights, the hurts, the betrayals. It points to a person who is full of herself and thinks she didn't deserve any of it, that all she deserved was the barely remembered happy times, new friends, rich blessings. Double ouch.

I don't normally make New Year's Resolutions but if I were to make one this year it might be something like this:  Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. 1 Peter 5:6

I believe that may be the way to the Best Year Ever.


Rebecca Hoekstra said...

Thank you for your convicting post! I, too, have felt like this was the worst year of my life and I'm continually reminded by God and friends of how many blessings I have. If only I could learn, like the saints of old, how to use my pain to draw me closer to God.

Anonymous said...

Dear Jill,
Even thoughf I suspected that something was going on, I am sorry that I did not know about the stress and sorrow in your life. I hope and pray that I was not the cause of any of it. You are continually loved by us. We cannot sometimes believe all the miraculous things you accomplish in your life. What can we do to help?
Love you,

Leslie said...

I love your heart precious friend and am so thankful for you! You are definitely one of the bright spots in my life! ((((Jill))))

Love you!

Five Cajuns and a Fundraiser said...

I want you to know that everytime I read one of your comments on my blog my eyes fill with tears, wonderful, someone understands, is offering her shoulder, sharing the words of our Lord with me, tears. I think the world of you, my dear friend, and am so glad to be on this path to Paisley with you cheering me on. I'm sorry for your suffering, the world is full of so much pain, sometimes a little of it gets on us and brings us down. Thankfully, we have the words of a Savior that loves us no matter what to comfort us. I'm here if you need me.

Love wins,
Renee Tam

Lu, Poppies Blooming said...

Oh Jill! I thought it was the BEST year yet! I got to be much closer friends with YOU! :D Love you so much!


Charissa said...

Aw, Jill, I had no idea. I'm sorry. :( For the record, I LOVED every one of your Down Syndrome posts. I'll still be your friend. Will you still be my friend even though I blogged about corrupt adoptions? haha Just making sure.

Arizona mom to eight said...

Jill, blogging during October put me in a depression, seriously, all the issues I read about and all those posts from different people, I was so down after I was through I could not blog for a long time. I have lost so many friends since we had Meghan, if they hang on and still love us whenever our lives are haywire or we say something they do not like, they are true friends, the others were just there to keep us company for a little while...